I feel as of late more than one foot have snuck over to the shadow lands.
The heaviness has felt like a cloud slowly rolling in.
Deeper and deeper it has stolen me away.
But today I choose to learn from the shadow land but no longer linger.
I allow the shadow to transform into the small soft body of a Raven.
I see it’s tender breast and it’s silky feathers.
I thank it for what it has taught me.
For the questions it helped me ask.
For the answers my own voice uttered.
No longer do I need to hold onto your dark form.
Without guilt or shame I admit you had been a comfort at times,
an excuse for my self destructive choices,
and with honesty we will meet again one day on a distant shore.
However, my dear Raven it is time you flew away.
I release you.
I speak the life I’m wanting to inhabit.
But so often those words only live on edges.
At the end of finger tips.
In the bottom of glasses.
Like a day dream.
Of skinny dips.
Never knowing it’s real,
I say words in hopes to convince.
Hopefully everything, that clings to the comfortable.
Clings to the contained.
I like dreaming up new possibilities. I like creating goals to go after.
But most of all I adore growing. So each year I do what people usually do on New Years Day on my birthday.
I make “resolutions” of sorts. I create a list of things I would like to accomplish or sew seeds into.
(Here is my list of 25 things to do before turning 26:)
1: Try a Bloody Mary.
2: Read a book a month. Any suggestions? I have 12 spots!
3: Organize all collage papers. WISH me luck!
4: Collaborate with 6 artists. Any takers?! :)
5: Travel to Colorado. BE in AWE of it’s majesty.
6: Snowboard or Ski with my love.
7: Travel to Bali. (Hold a monkey, explore it’s temples and feast on all the richness it’s markets have…)
8: Can my own food. Seriously why haven’t I?
9: Take my love to New York City. (Eat pretzels, ride the subways and hold each others hands A LOT.)
10: Write my dearest Katariina every month.
12: Write an article about depression.
13: Take a course by: Isabel Faith Ibbott. (If you don’t know who she is, you should. A goddess of writing!)
14: Paint/Collage a large piece of art to hang in my new home with my love.
15: Lead 3 art work shops locally. (Inquire, I am dreaming up yummy connecting arty-ness. With tea and green houses and writing, it will be good.)
17: Outline “HOWL”. Stay posted I CANNOT wait until this baby is ready to come into the world!
18: BEgin tea rituals again. Idea from Lindsay Luna. Agony of Leaves was a very inspiring and healing journey for me and I intend to begin again.
19: (This one is a secrete, I will share when it is time.)
20: Pursue publications.
21: Photograph some intimate shoots. Woman SHOULD feel sexy and seen. Get your lingerie ready or come without it. (Email me if your interested!)
22: Create a home with intention and attention. Photo’s to be shared when the home arrives to us!
23: ACTUALLY, FINALLY begin yoga. It has been calling me for what seems like forever. It is time to learn flexibility and breath through life.
24: Share gratitude lists on here.
25: Wed to my love on a autumn day. Fincham.