“The creative act is not hanging on, but yielding to new creative movement.” -Joseph Campbell

The earth takes me into her.

She revitalizes my body like nothing else can.

Today I visited her.

I sat on her shores and drank her salty water.

I needed her.

Winter has taken it’s harsh tole on my body.

I feel thick, heavy, cold.

I let her breeze waft over and around my skin.

I swallowed her sunsets,

and caressed her skies.

I collected her treasures,

and wrote her poetry on my soul.

I carry the sea in me always.

Calm or stormy.

She is me.

“I wander.

I have always been a wanderer.

A seeker of distant lands.

Until I lost all words.

Until my mouth had known your kiss.

Then and only then, I stood still.”

-I think I had took on lovers for the reasons many people do.

All sorts of reasons, really.

But the main one that sticks out:

Running from ones-self.

I think I traveled-loved-loved-traveled and so on because I was terrified of just BEing.

Just being here. Right here. With myself. Empty hands and yet FULL.

I didn’t want to face what “HERE ” meant, because I didn’t like here.

I didn’t like who I was or where I was physically or metaphorically.

I wouldn’t trade those times, those memories and especially those lessons of course.

But right now I am looking at me:

The often emotional,

wildly creative,

messy haired woman.

Who is really learning grace and acceptance of herself like everyone else.

I look at all the running i’ve done and frankly I am tired.

Do you know what I mean?

I am sure you know all too well.

-Last year I began a process of digging deep into my  shadow and feeling out the possibilities of having really rich soil inside.

I began to:

Unravel.

Examine.

Tend.

It hasn’t been easy.

But it has been good!

I have found that when I chose last year to plant myself.

To learn to be “alone”.

To lay down roots for once and be with me, myself and I.

I feel so much more vitality.

I learned to brush up against my own flesh and bone.

I learned to fill my own mouth, heart and soul.

NOW -I feel ready to explore the world again with a knowing that I am not running, but offering myself to the world.

I feel a new strength rooted in my feet, my belly, my chest to grow the relationship with my lover  into a wondrously thriving, rare thing.

I feel ready to cultivate the very things I used to use as a distraction from facing those shadows.

This sky is a creamy ash color,

releasing bits of rain

nourishing the plants and dazzling on my skin.

Everything looks more pure in this light.

From the green of the leaves to the soft peach of the flower petals.

Taking a moment to pause and think about all that I have released and all that I want to continue shedding.

Allowing nature to guide me as I follow the seasons of my life into more abundance.

-We often wake up pale and creased and all the world has lost it’s color.

But what if we developed a special sight for gorgeous moments?

Little slow dimensions when our focus narrows and we can truly see all the savory goodness that lies before us!

(Today practice a focus shift. Try and find little treasures hidden in your day.)