Chicago was the first place I ever paid to travel too alone. After a messy break up I bought a ticket and went.
She was the city of many firsts. The first place I got drunk in. The first place I roamed aimlessly photographing for no reason other than the need to do it. The first place I tested my boundaries. I bought a kimono and cow boy boots and felt alive. Somehow in those streets I found a piece of me that I didn’t know was there. Bravery…
Many years later I am here with my love beginning a chapter in our lives I thought I would never be taking. But I am, oh so glad we are!
This place always buzzes with an energy I cannot explain, but I know others feel it too. There is something inexplicably beautiful about Chicago. I feel a rush of creative bliss flow out of me each time I set foot on her soil. It seems only right to begin our lives as a Navy couple here. With her snow covered grounds and her towering buildings, we embarked on the biggest decision of our lives. Ok maybe marriage was the biggest decision, but this is a very, VERY close second!
I flew in on Christmas Eve due to the most delightful plane ticket gifted to me by a cousin. She and her husband wanted my love and I to be able to spend Christmas day together! Which was the sort of magical day that words do not really capsulate, so I won’t begin to try. The next few days flew by in bursted blurs. Some moments being wildly fun and others inching by as we grew close to graduation… I sat waiting eagerly. Sight seeing, taxidermy and the most amazing food punctuated my days. Until, of course I was with him again. Because being with him usually trumps everything else. 10 days in this wintery city flew by faster than I thought possible. It already feels like the distant past.
This list was half way written back in August when I usually post them.
As life would have a few huge changes in store coming for us in the last few months it sat idle in my notebook. Here is the revised version for our new journey…
2) Print photos from our Honey Moon at Artifact Uprising!
3) Life hack our house especially the kitchen! Seriously so many ideas to make living much easier and organized! Which translates into a much more peaceful me.
4) Write Love Letters to people whom need them. You should too, click HERE to find out why and how!
5) Collage/write my heart… It’s time. I can feel the need to create about living in India and Nepal.
6) Stream line bills. Why? Because life is easier that way.
7) Learn how to make a Cyanotype which is a photographic printing process that produces a cyan-blue print! Uh, YES please!
8) Keep getting in shape. Right before turning 26 I decided it was high time to make working out a regular part of my life.
(Not an optional one.) I am dedicated to expanding what that looks like this year!
9) Drink champagne for the first time.
10) Make art with Orly Avineri.
11) Create a desk/workspace in our new home, where I can edit without being hunched over or burning my legs.
12) To that note I also want to freshin up our bedroom, wether that means a head board or new bed spread. It has been the least focused on room in the house.
13) Use milage for an airline ticket. Where too?
14) Get my very own sleeping bag, hiking backpack and boots! For real, I am an adult now, I need to invest in proper gear.
15) So I can hike and camp more. A goal we both equally desire.
16) Visit Asheville before leaving the east coast! Go to Double D’s and Biltmore Estate.
17) Read 12 books. Focusing on Travel and or Memoirs.
19) Learn how to re-wire a lamp. Seriously this has been on my to do list forever.
20) Go dancing with my husband.
21) Learn to make proper cocktails. You know for all those parties we throw.
22) Get a morning routine. Mine consisted of rolling out of bed, throwing on clothes and grabbing a coffee. 1o minutes flat and I was out the door. I would like a healthier version from now on. Eat protein upon waking, drink more water, take my vitamin d, moisturize my face before getting dressed and grabbing that coffee.
23) Take Nathaniel scuba diving.
24) Meet a National Geographic photographer. Shoot with them.
25) Make a list of things to do and love while living in Jacksonville. Oh and do them…
This last year has woven and unwoven many new layers within my soul. So much has happened… Our first year of marriage is nearly complete and in many ways it’s feels we have been together for much longer. We made some big leaps. I learned a lot about what is really nourishing to my body, soul and mind. This last year has been minimalistic in nearly every sense. This has aloud me the space to explore what I want out of this life… scratching the surface really. The below goals feel good to revisit, to see how much I have really been able to do and the things that I still get to do. Sure some of my creative and personal goals were not “met” however so much happened that I didn’t dream would evolve within this last year. Time shape shifts our wants, dreams and goals. THIS is ok. Good even. So here it is 25 things to do before turning 26 what was checked off and what will be carried over for another day. xoxo
1: Try a Bloody Mary.
Absolutely freaking amazing!!!! My love took me to SUPPER a roof top restaurant, recently opened in our city, just to try one. Since that glorious night of falling in love, we make them all the time. Spicy bloody mary with okra in it = staple in our home!
2: Read a book a month. Any suggestions? I have 12 spots!
1) The War of Art: Break Through the Block and Win your Inner Creative Battles, By: Steven Pressfield
2) Four Hour Work Week, By: Tim Farris
3) Vagabonding: An uncommon guide to the art of long term travel, By: Rolf Potts
4) Rich Dad Poor Dad, By: Robert T. Kiyosaki
5) You Can Create an Exceptional Life, By: Louise Hay, Cheryl Richardson
6) The Lost City of Z, a tale of deadly obsession in the amazon, By: David Grann
7) The Power of Now, By: Eckhart Tolle
8) Mother Night, By: Clarissa Pinkola Estes
9) The Language of Archetypes, By: Caroline Myss
10) Writing Wild, By: Tina Welling
11) The Alchemist, By: Paulo Coelho
12) When Woman Were Birds, By: Terry Tempest Williams
13) The Power of Myth, By: Joseph Campbell
14) Wild, from lost to found on the pacific crest trail By: Cheryl Strayed
15) The Sacred Ego, By: Jalaja Bonheim, PHD
3: Organize all collage papers. WISH me luck!
We moved into our new home together just before christmas. As I unpacked I had this amazing rush of organizational energy. It felt good to get rid of a ton. I thought it would be a overwhelming venture…stream line and organize, but it was a sort of healing as we moved into a new season!!!
4: Collaborate with 6 artists. Any takers?!
1) Galia Alena created Camera Crafta wonderful course full of inspiration and a few really amazing creative contributors!
I had so many plans for creative collaboration but have found that it took much more energy and time than I imagined. Instead of stretching myself too thin, I focused most of my collaboration time on the INterview series, which has birthed some new dreams within. Follow the threads and trust where your intuition leads you!
5: Travel to Colorado. BE in AWE of it’s majesty.
I truly wish this last year included more travel. As we made some big decisions individually and as a couple, traveling took a pause. We took this time instead to really enjoy our moments here in Virginia with new eyes.
6: Snowboard or Ski with my love.
Check! Oh the truth, the REAL not fluffy truth is I hated it. I wanted to love it. Like really love it and have my husband all proud to be with the woman who can ski! Be in awe of it/me/us. But it was frustrating and it hurt so much! But what we took away from it was I tried it. And we figured out a bit more of how we travel together. I like to meander streets and soak in the culture. He likes the extreme sports. So we will probably trade off in the future. Set up the day with dropping me off in the hip part of town while he gets his thrills on the slopes.)
7: Travel to Bali. (Hold a monkey, explore it’s temples and feast on all the richness it’s markets have…)
On a beautiful April spring morning my love planted tomatoes, bell peppers, cinnamon basil, jalapeños and cucumbers. We made salsa’s, basil pesto, pickles and canned various peppers for hoagie spreads and chow chow!
9: Take my love to New York City. (Eat pretzels, ride the subways and hold each others hands A LOT.) One day!
10: Write my dearest Katariinaevery month. So didn’t do this. ;)
My love gifted:writing the womb, to me for christmas. A circle of woman dove into this electric writing course in the spring and it was Devine. As I was on the threshold of making many creative shifts this course aloud me the room and exploration to make clear conscious choices. I am always in awe of Isabel’s wisdom and gift of opening up voice.
14: Paint/Collage a large piece of art to hang in my new home with my love.
Nearly done, just as were about to leave this place we call home.
15: Lead 3 art work shops locally. (Inquire, I am dreaming up yummy connecting arty-ness. With tea and green houses and writing, it will be good.)
I lead one workshop this year. My first Online E-Course Sacred Vignettes (honoring your everyday Sacred), in July and it was a blast to see something I created from my belly, my bones, my heart, connect with others.
17: Outline “HOWL”. Stay posted I CANNOT wait until this baby is ready to come into the world!
I outlined what each month would offer and it felt really good to research this idea of mine. As I delved further in, the project shape shifted and due to this shape shifting I feel it is a project that will slow burn in me for a long time. It’s not ready… It’s inside but not ready.
18: BEgin tea rituals again. Idea from Lindsay Luna. Agony of Leaves was a very inspiring and healing journey for me and I intend to begin again.
I began each morning with freshly brewed coffee. Which isn’t quite as good for you as tea, however I focused the same intention and presence. I started everyday with bringing water to a boil and carefully enjoying the small moment of beginning a new day in that early morning glow.
19: (This one is a secrete, I will share when it is time.) ***QUIT***
A HOLY yes, on January 6th, 2015 I got to quit a job that was not feeding my soul and I am so glad I was able to do so. Since then I have been curating Interviews for A Global Walk, Photographing all sorts of Love, Writing for magazines and creating local workshops and online E-courses. It is the leap of leaps for me, it is a great accomplishment and I am so proud to say I am doing it!
20: Pursue publications.
I have really enjoyed writing and photographing for magazines and books this last year. It is something I will continue to pursue that fills me with a HUGE sense of creative fire and thankfulness. A few I have lovedA World of Artists Journal Pages,Bohemian collective, Artful Blogging.
21: Photograph some intimate shoots. Woman SHOULD feel sexy and seen. Get your lingerie ready or come without it.
It’s really amazing when woman show up fully embodied. I only did a few of these sessions, but truly they are some of my favorite. I love when woman feel sensually awakened. I love capturing a part of them they rarely see crystalized. I love showing them what their lover sees. I love “Love…”
22: Create a home with intention and attention. Photo’s to be shared when the home arrives to us!
One of my favorite parts about this past year was creating a home. My body takes in everything the world throws at me like a sponge. Most of the time I adore this sort of soaking up, but in an effort to balance this aspect about my body/spirit I keep my home pretty minimalistic. I stick to earthy tones and earthy materials. My body can relax here and not be over stimulated.
Wooden stumps from our wedding alter are our coffee tables. A crystal engineer print hangs above our fire place. A taxidermy fox given to me as a birthday present from a dear friends, prowls above my kitchen cabinents. Lots of antlers and large white pillar candles, everywhere!
23: ACTUALLY, FINALLY begin yoga. It has been calling me for what seems like forever. It is time to learn flexibility and breath through life.
Intention lead me to taking care of my body much more this year. Moving it outdoors and listening to it’s cues. I began a habit of working out every single day. But alas I did not practice yoga other than like twice. ;)
This is a sister -whom my soul must have known many times. I read her words and am emerged into raw-loving truth space. I know this space. I know her. Somehow. She is magic and medicine. She is spirit and ground. She is a wise wild woman who claimed her Sacred Regal Presence on this earth and just by showing up invites us to do the same. This is a woman I want to know.
Hillary Rain is the creator of Body Stories: The Embodied Alchemy of Breath + Bone (coming later in 2015), and the Soul Doula Sessions: intuitive holistic + spiritual mentorship for women guided by the wisdom of the body, heart, and spirit through sacred, creative arts. She is one-half of The Wild Mystics where she co-creates guided courses about spirituality and sensuality. Visit her at HillaryRain.com for gentle sermons on holistic living, sacred healing & spiritual awakening for writers, artists, & mystics.
Because I have to ask: What does regal presence really mean to you? Feel like? Taste like? Look like?
Ah, one of my core desired feelings! I combined these two words to encompass worlds upon worlds, these rich layers of an intricate life. Regal presence means empowerment, abundance, and holding my head high with deep, quiet faith. It means that I am here, I am home, that I am, I am, I am. Regal presence means living a sacred life grounded in truth and trust, rooted and rising, knowing that I am blessed with divine authority and wisdom; that I am loved, that I am love.
It feels like sultry vibrations of tibetan singing bowls in my root chakra, deep-toned and resonant. It feels like anointing oil on my skin, fragrant and warm. It feels like a pure no and a sacred, joyful yes. In fact, it tastes like yes in my mouth, like laughter, like honey on my lips, like salted caramel kisses and rich black coffee with lush swirls of cream. It tastes like joy even when I pant with want. It looks like strength and smiles and watchfulness, like queenly radiance, like compassion, like hands reaching out.
Body, embodied, sanctuary- all glory- all holy hallelujah! You are my Sacred Temple. How do you worship? Dear one tell me what your breath would say in prayer?
My prayers go through seasons like I do: verdant and decadent, with poetry and rapture and ritual … followed by cracked-lipped whispers in the desert, one salty syllable at a time, or mostly silent. But I am most alive during what I call whole body prayer—reverent invocation through dance, through compassion, through breath, through passionate confessions and tearful nights when I clutch my own face because I am desperate to reach God. I say please and please and please and thank you, like all well-taught girls do, and I scream WHY a lot, enraged and entitled, and I grasp (and gasp!) for wisdom like I’m starved and alone. We are passionate ones, the Divine and me. And I worship through questions, dwelling in the liminal space between breaths, worshiping through this earthen body for I, too, am word made flesh. These bones of mine are secret passageways for deep calling deep at the sound of river-falls. My worship looks like my life, made of mystery, communion, and holy longing intermingled with raw, sweet grace. I call it bohemian spirituality; it is made of an unconventional faith—making peace with mystery.
What does Sacred mean to you? Where is your Sacred place and why? Tell me how you rise up in fullness?
I consider Sacred anything indwelt with Spirit. The Sacred reflects eternal love. Whatever becomes sanctuary for all the tender things—birth and death and love, trembling, anything liminal—is holy. We (be)(hold) it and it is thus alchemized. This means that anywhere I am becomes sacred.
I also find that sacred spaces are story-keepers. Ancient landmarks witnessing the wild history of our lives on earth—a ley-line, a wise grandmother tree, or a vast hill. The quiet, nourishing witness of a soul doula. A glimmering blank page or one blessed with ink and tears. My own flesh, which holds every story I’ve ever lived and all the seeds for new ones. This is my embodiment, my fullness rising, my sacred space. Ironically, only empty things can fill, and so I become a space for rhythm and years, flowing in and emptying myself to fill once more.
How do spirituality and sexuality relate for you?
They are both deeply sacred to me. I am spiritual. I am sexual. I express both fully, with great passion and joy. I hold their presence within me, without duality. Imagine two vast oceans meeting, crashing into each other with arms open, entangling, embracing, creating a rich and luminous depth. I am ravished in that space between. I make love. I make art. I make tenderness.
What supports the true expression of your authentic self?
I give myself permission to wander (and wonder) freely. I write. I taste life. Tears fall; I fall, sometimes hard. I soften. I gather feathers and moonstone. I allow the both-and of my mystical approach to spirituality to be the field I dwell in, pressing bare feet to wild earth as I delight in this land of enchantment. I plant gardens here. I hang windchimes in the trees and sing loud and messy. I meet sojourners making their own wild way and we witness one another’s bravery. I gather stories on my skin. I drink deep from wells of mercy. Here I am naked and unashamed, returned to Eden, held. Always held.
What are you bow down kiss the ground grateful for?
My soul circle—the mad artists, the healers, the lovers who make their lives a work of art, who understand my gentle-stormy-self and provide sweet and spacious sanctuary. The ones who invite me to their rustic table, who don’t flinch at my mascara-stained cheeks but look at me and see art, see beauty. My husband, who grounds me when I’m off happily encircling the stars, who doesn’t always understand my bohemian ways, but keeps his arms warm and open—my home, my heart, my harbor. Beauty. Healing. Mercy.
What are you saying YES to these days?
These days find me saying yes to the unknown, for staying present in the tension of it when I’d rather numb myself to this existential ache. I’m saying “yes, okay!” to reinvention, to ever-expanding circles, to curiosity and delight. I am saying yes to soft spaces and looking at things from a freshly-washed inner gaze. I say yes to all the ways I can’t say yes. It’s harder than you’d think.
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild precious life?
This answer is pouring out quite unexpectedly. I am surprised to say this, but I am all planned out. I am dream-weary. I have dream fatigue. Don’t misunderstand; I have an insatiable, wanton hunger to drink every sweet juicy drop life has to offer. I ache to soak up so much living that my skin smells like cardamom from Marrakesh and my hips serpentine-sway along the corridors of India and my lips kiss the bourbon off her moonlit mouth. I want to love wild and gather sacred experiences like mystical treasures in my gypsy bag. I am a wanderess. Magic is my middle name. I want to move others with beauty and fire and be a healing river of love wherever I go. I want to transform, transcend, and burn with feverish purpose.
But it’s almost too much. When is there ever enough? There will always be a new adventure, a fresh desire, an unrequited love. There will always be a new, life-changing social media status, a riveting new movie, a sensational new dish to savor. A fascinating artist to adore. A beautiful photo on Instagram where the light falls just so and I find myself weeping for the beauty of it. Sometimes life feels like an endless scrolling channel of everything ever and it’s all so amazing and wonderfully exotic, and think of all the stories waiting to be told and the luminous souls waiting to be loved! And each day brings a new ache, a new delight, a new discovery, a new must-see-before-I-die. (Did you know there is such a thing as singing rocks? On this magical mountain? You hit them with a hammer and they ring out, each with a different bell-like tone, and mysteriously, if you remove them from this place they no longer sing. Must. Visit. Singing. Rocks. With. Hammer.)
There will always be more. And in this always-moreness I become keenly aware of a lingering, haunting never-enoughness.
In the meantime, life quietly flows on, steady, present, here. My heart thrums her faithful, steady song. Inhale, exhale goes the breath. My husband just looked over at me and smiled. Lightning shivers outside my window and rain makes the glass sparkle like a cascade of polished diamonds. Tomorrow I will have a conversation with one of the people I love most in this world. I spooned up a creamy, organic vanilla yogurt this evening and it felt so smooth and delicious in my mouth. Candlelight dances on the stove. My favorite essential oils soak my skin. I got a surprise, happy text today that made me cry. I looked at my body naked in the mirror and I didn’t hate myself. In fact, I kind of liked what I saw. There are things that make my heart feel heavy and things that make me want to burst with joy and living and light. I have stories brewing inside of me. I have work to do.
This is my life. It is sacred. It is mundane. It is ravishing.
I want to love it—fully.
I want to honor life by bringing my whole-holy self to it.
I want to be true. Humble. Here. I want to bless with it. Make art with it. Make beauty with it that is so otherworldly and transcendent that the only proper response is the river language of worship, of silence, of deep-calling-deep, of whole-body prayer.
Beginning July 26th, this six week eCourse takes the natural pulse and rhythm that speaks to the wild rise and fall of sexuality for the blushing wild enchantress. Each week the lacy strap that sits upon her shoulder will slip a little further down her arm. Daily artful prompts and erotica fortunes will bring some enticement and synchronicity to the sultry exploration, and guest enchantresses will daringly expose their own blushing wild with us. Peeks into different mediums of erotica will stimulate the creative juices as we explore our psyches and ourSelves through soul work and chakras, erotic poetry and succulent rituals, meaningful movement and provocative stories. Weekly practices will invite you into your own hot skin and fan the flame of your own fiery life. Vulnerability never looked so good on you. Welcome to the blush! Read more and register at TheWildMystics.com
Erin Faith Allen is the spirited, rich, raw creator of Call of the Wild Soul Art Retreats. These art retreats are as filled to the brim with heart and soul as she is.
Erin Faith Allen; I am an artist, filmmaker, and event creator who moves in many directions at one time.
Describe a time when you walked through the doors of passage? How has it transformed you?
Last summer when I decided to research my lineage, I had no idea the power that my ancestors were just waiting to pass through the ethers to me. What I have discovered has been nothing short of mindblowing – it’s like suddenly I am a complete picture, made up of fragments of so many people I’d never even heard of. To feel a belonging like I suddenly feel cannot be put into words … but I paint it every single day.
How has being female affected your spiritual journey?
This is a big question. I get stuck on the word ‘spiritual’ because it’s become a bit of a buzz word, or a label, or a way of separating self from other. I suppose the same could be said about the word ‘female’ in some ways. :) For me, being human – whether spiritual, male, atheist, female, etc – is the real journey. Every day I deepen into a more profound relationship with human nature, only because I dig into myself and explore my own motivations and how I navigate interactions with others. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about femaleness and woman-ness, and while there is massive value in that, these daysI’m all about settling into human connectivity and recognizing that underneath the skin we wear we are all just trying to experience love and acceptance; it’s an innate craving that is gender-less.
That said, there is definitely a massive power blast that moves through my art about the spectrum of experiences a woman has. For example, these days I am doing a lot of work about the concept of mothering – which is a female experience. I guess we are made up of slices: I am a human who is a woman who is a mother who is an artist who is hard-working who loves nutrition and CrossFit who loves sunshine and Los Angeles and also loves thunderstorms who loves the color red who is obsessed with genealogy who is an introvert who was born under a Scorpio full moon. After so many years of endeavoring to integrate aspects of myself it’s hard to separate the slices and isolate just one of them.
How do you show up? Who are you becoming? How do you rise up in your fullness?
I show up by showing up. I am becoming who I’ve always been. I rise up to my fullness by constantly falling down.
What is pulling you forward? What is your motivation?
Happiness and beauty. Happiness pulls me forward, and every day I am happier than I was the day before. Beauty, the enigmatic muse, is the road I walk to happiness.
What does being BRAVE look like these days? What does it feel like?
Being brave is something I do well … even though conversely, a lot of fear has passed down through my lineage and I spent many years being subconsciously governed by it. After being around the block a few times now, I like to think I eviscerate it every day. At least most days :)
Tell me about what you crave? What are you saying a big Holy YES to these days? Tell us the juicy details of what makes life GOOOOOOOOOD these days?
I crave solitude, hours of creating without interruption, and soaking in other people’s creations. I say a Holy YES to surrendering to the ‘tricky’ moments in life … sometimes after a little kicking and screaming. And the juicy details? I have a rare version of synaesthetic response to sound, color, texture, and line. I always knew I was acutely sensitive because the world has generally overwhelmed me. The more at peace I am within myself, the more pronounced the synaesthetic engagement with my surrounding becomes.It’s a blessing and a curse, it is beyond description, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Who are your heroes? What are their stories, myths? What did they teach you?
My heroines: Anais Nin, Sylvia Plath, Sally Mann, and myself. I’ve walked through, and subconciously masterminded, a lot of sh!* in my life, but I never fall down hard enough that I can’t get back up. My heroes: Cy Twombly, Walker Evans, Mozart, Klimt, Christian Dior. I am enlivened by people who are geniuses, who ‘see’ and ‘hear’ things nobody else does, who change history with their tenacity. Equally, any person who has ever crashed down into hell and kept on walking with their head high and heart open are my hero. I have a really big soft spot for the veterans of WW2. My grandfathers both served in that war, and I think all those men and women are absolute heroes. I went to the DDay celebrations in Normandy a couple years ago and I was cracked open. All the ‘old boys’ walking around in their medals, heads high, hearts open. They are an embodiment of the strength and fragility of humans. How we suffer, how we survive, and how our bodies carry our memories. It can sound so trite to say ‘they sacrificed so much’ … but they DID.
Tell me of myth? Of Magic? What they mean to you, how they show up in your work?
Oh goodness. They are so much a part of me and my process that I am not even sure how to articulate or express it. Symbols and subconscious urgings ARE my work. At the end of the day I’m just a person with chewed fingernails, food allergies, skin, bones, and blond hair who sits in front of an easel. The rest is magic.
What would you like everyone to know deep into their bones?
That our bones are literally made up of everyone who came before us. Our story, both present and past tense, isn’t just our personal story woven of tragedies and victories and all the spaces between. It belongs to every ancestor we’ve ever had. Their decisions pulsate through every thought, decision, action, and desire we’ve ever had. It’s breathtaking when you recognize this, life takes on a certain meaning that changes perspectives, patterns, and opens possibilities.
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild precious life? Experience true, unabashed peace that permeates every cell of my body, every wisp of my soul, every root that takes hold in my mind.For more information about her art, upcoming retreats and classes visit: www.erinfaithallen.com
To me Kate is an incredible woman, an example of how there really is no such thing as too late. It’s all connected. She is inspirational and I loved listening to her story unfolded of how she became an artist only a few years ago.
Kate Thompson works as a fiber artist. Working with fabric and fiber to create abstract 3-dimensional forms was her focus for many years. She started painting full time in 2009 focusing on portrait/figure work painting in acrylics, watercolors and mixed media. Fractured Angels is the continuous thread throughout her work. Kate Thompson’s art parallels her spiritual journey as she identifies with the flawed, cracked and fractured human yearning for peace and fulfillment.
“The older I get the stronger the pull to explore and express this theme in my work. Along the way I discovered I loved teaching. I find the creative process so incredibly interesting. My energy lies in that process and to share that with others has been the most fulfilling role of my life. The spiritual nature of the creative process is something that I think about a lot. The idea of constant practicing of my craft along with allowing myself to let go in moments of creating is the key to authentic art.”
Tell me about spirituality being integrated with your work? Tell me the story of the Fractured Angelics:
My creative process is a direct reflection of my spiritual life. I can have a day of incredible flowing creativity. It is almost effortless and so joyful and I think to myself….”I figured it out, it is all going to come flowing out of me now”. I go to bed and wake up to another day in the studio and nothing goes right. I forget how to paint a face. The more I try and struggle, the worse it gets. What happened to that amazing flow?
What I realized is that my creativity, like my spiritual condition, is a day at a time. The discipline is to go to the studio everyday no matter how the work comes out.
The days I struggle, usually create a crack, that will eventually open me up to another level in my work….so I call myself a Fractured Angel and my work Fractured Angelics. There is a song by Leonard Cohen called Anthem and one of the lines in the song is “There is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” I found that so profound and so very true in my life. I never can rest on my laurels. I continue to be a student and will never stop growing and learning.
How has your experience as an artist changed you? How can or does this experience help others?
My experience as an artist has changed me by giving me hope. No matter what is going on in my life, I always have my creative practice to look forward to. It is such a gift to have this. I can look out the window of my studio and watch the light hit the trees in such a magical way that I can run outside and capture that in a photograph which can lead to creating art. Being an artist makes my senses open to incredible visual experiences. If I didn’t create in my life I would be deeply depressed. I know that about myself. It is a gift to me to keep me content and each day I am so humbled and grateful to have this in my life. This experience has helped others through my teaching. I love the part of art that is the practice as well as allowing the spirit and the muse to take over. It is quite a dance to concentrate on the practice, then get out of the way and allow the spirit to take over. It goes back and forth, back and forth and I watch my students go through the same thing. I love to help them navigate through the process and to appreciate the struggle. Also important is to know when to let go and just let it rip…such surprising images show up! It is pure magic!
What is pulling you forward? What is your motivation?
Learning is my motivation. I never stop learning how to create. My challenge is to come up with a body of work that has my signature and at the same time is new and fresh. So often I find work I love and then I look at the body of work and it all starts to look the same to me. I know many artists fall into the situation of producing what is selling and therefore not spending that time to experiment to make the work into something fresh each time. It is a hard thing to do, especially when your income comes from your art. I have to maintain that enthusiasm involved in creating and at the same time, not always ‘reinvent the wheel’. To take all my experience and practice while creating but allow myself to be open to inspiration . I have always been a cautious person and never thought big about my life. That changed for me a couple of years ago and through hard work and incredible focus I have created the most amazing life.
I started painting 5 years ago and was not very good at first. I just kept practicing and taking online classes and became better. I was not born an artist, I had to work very hard at the craft of art and eventually all my hard work paid off. Anyone can learn to paint and draw if you just put in the time.
How do you start you day? What is nourishing in your day?
I start my day with a cup of coffee and daily spiritual reading. I follow up with a 20 minute meditation. I then get dressed and go to my studio, catch up on emails and other social media. I am a pretty disciplined self employed artist. I treat my job as an artist like any other job by making sure I work in my studio 6-8 hours a day during the week on my classes and painting. Week ends are strictly for me with no other goal but to better my practice. What nourishes me during the day is good healthy meals and plenty of water. My studio has full windows on 3 walls overlooking my backyard. Now that it is spring I look forward to watching the birds come back to build their nests in one of our hanging plants as well as the porch light. I talk to them sometimes and sometimes they talk back. I love being a part of new family.
What have you placed in your nest(home) that comforts?
Things that bring you beauty. I have two Bengal cats that I just adore. My male was always very skittish and shy and over the years I have just loved him to death and he now sleeps in my arms every night. I am so glad that he finally feels safe! My patio in the back of our house is my comfy place. My boyfriend, John, is really the nester. He loves to decorate and build things, I am more of the bachelor but I really appreciate how he built this cozy patio right off of my studio with a really nice awning he built from scratch. We have a huge backyard and I get to watch all the activity with birds, rabbits and even deer. One day a little family of deer decided to hang out in our backyard. I love hanging out in my studio and John hung some nice lacey curtains which adds to my little Shabby Chic studio with my white xmas lights hung year round.
What are you saying a full bodied YES to?
Healthy living and exercise. I am 60 years old and have always been obsessed with fitness. I remember when I was very young thinking when I am 60 I will not worry about how I look and I can let myself go. It is true at 60 looks aren’t a priority but feeling good is! I joined a running group and I am now up to 12 miles…very slow 12 miles but none the less, it is a big giant YES!
What does being BRAVE look like these days? What does it feel like?
Being BRAVE is allowing myself to be comfortable and to become familiar with not knowing how things are going to turn out. I am a control and security freak or so I thought. I always felt like I needed everything planned out. I worked full time as a print designer in the apparel business for 20 years and worked at three different companies . Security was a big priority and I stayed in those situations much longer than I should. Moving across the country and losing all my connections forced me to start over. Being self -employed is scary, especially for someone like me. I can’t believe that I am making a living creating art and teaching. For someone who is shy and introverted, I find myself flying to new cities, meeting and teaching new people, accepting room and board from strangers and loving it. Before each trip, I always get nervous because so much can go wrong. Airports and flying can go very very wrong but I am up for the challenge. That is brave for me. I show up and live with the uncertainty.
What way of being is calling you? Who are you becoming? or How do you rise up in your fullness?
I am drawn to people that have a sense of grace and gratitude about them. To be able to quietly sip a cup of tea and savor that moment. I have a very addictive nature and tend to rush past these powerful moments waiting for the next shiny object to come my way. I practice meditation to get me in touch with staying in the moment and to feel enough. I get glimpses of myself being this way but still have my addictive default mode I fall back on. I believe that will continue to be present in my life and maybe it is not so bad. It is my drive but I believe the balance between the two is probably my sweet spot.
What do you want everyone to know?
Well, I am planning my first overseas workshop in Orvieto, Italy in the Fall of 2016. I can’t tell you what a big deal this is. I have never been to Italy but I know my soul yearns to experience this beautiful country. When I first started this journey of teaching/painting in 2010, I dreamed of having this lifestyle of teaching all over the world and painting being my day job
The last three years I started teaching, learned how to film and edit myself painting to create online classes on my website, as well as teaching live. Don’t ever underestimate yourself. I did for many years and therefore didn’t grow. You can find out all about my online classes on my website as well as workshops I do on location at fracturedangelics.com. I am also a part of 21 Secrets Journaling Spring 2015 online class. You can read all about that on my blog fracturedangelics.blogspot.com
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild precious life?
To continue to connect with women all over the world with my teaching. I never had children and often felt I had nothing to contribute to the world. My teaching has given me this incredible purpose in life. That I can help another person by giving them a nudge to jump off and just see what happens. I never was taught how to teach and yet it feels so comfortable for me. I want to continue to travel all over the world and I think I will want to revisit Italy again and again!
